This was taken before we went to Texas, but I'm just now getting around to posting it. And please, apologies for the crappy camera. My poor iPhone has been dropped, stuffed into pockets with keys, and sucked on by a 4 month old so the camera is not as crisp as it used to be. But you still get the picture. :)
We try to pick up the house every night, so in the mornings this is what it looks like.
Through out the day, Z gets her toys out ... and I move stuff around too.
More toys...
Even more toys!
Can you spot I?
So we either try to pick up before mom gets home after 5 or we let her see how much fun we've had (and convince her to help us clean up!)
Today was my mother's birthday. She would've turned 60 years old today. Wow... That's crazy. :)
My mom passed away on August 25th, 2005, almost 6 years ago, from Ovarian Cancer. She was a wonderful wife, a perfect mother, and a beautiful woman. She raised me and my two brothers to be strong, caring and loving gentlemen.
There isn't a day go by that I do not think of my mom. Little Zoe Marcia is a constant reminder of how my mother raised me, and I strive to be just as good a parent as she was to my brothers and I. I often think, as I'm changing yet another diaper, or down on my hands and knees cleaning up another lunch, or when I'm doing other mundane parental tasks, that my mother did this for 3 children! If she could do it - so can I.
Death is a part of life. And it's funny to be reminded of someone's death ... on their birthday. I've said it before and I'll say it again (with tears in my eyes), "With time, it doesn't get any easier, but you do cry a little less".
A crazy connection, Stacey's mother, who is also a beautiful, strong and caring woman, turns 55 today! Our mom's had the same birthday!! Weird, huh?
Enjoy those around you. Especially your parents. Tell them you love them today, because you never know when they'll just randomly be gone.
If any of you are friends with Stacey on Facebook, you already know. Or, if any of you are friends with us in real life, you already know...
Stacey and I are expecting Baby Blackwell #2!!
Yup! We are building the Empire, ladies and gentlemen! Only 7 more to go! Just kidding ... who knows how many. But here - I'll answer some of the questions you may have...
Didn't you just have one? (aka, was this planned?) Yes, yes we did! Thanks for the reminder. The babes will be 21 months apart. We want to have our children close together for a number of reasons, so this works out perfectly!
Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet? Nope! Stacey will be 13 weeks along and you don't find out the gender until 18 weeks! I'm crossing my fingers for a boy. ;)
What are you going to name him? Him you say? Well, we have a few names picked out, but we'll keep that under wraps until he/she arrives.
How the heck are you gonna handle 2? Good question! But I've learned after handling one, if I can do that, then I can do anything! I'm Super Dad and Stacey, Super Mom. We aren't worried any more than we should be and are excitedly planning the future of our growing family!
We are going to the Doc later today for an extensive ultra sound and checkup, but everything so far has been great! The babe has a steady heartbeat, and he/she is making Stacey hungry, nauseous and tired, which is a good sign!
I just wanted to share! I've been meaning to for a while, but we just figured the online world would figure out in due time. This is the time! :)
A few days ago, August 23rd, to be exact, Stacey and I launched Blackwell Photography! We have combined photography forces to create a trinity of photography services, including but not limited to actor's headshots, musician portraits, and wedding celebrations! We're super excited to be starting out on this very exciting adventure, and encourage you to check out Blackwell Photography's Blog. It may be just as entertaining as this one. And you'll probably get more photos of celebrities and less pictures of Zoe. Until Zoe is a celebrity. Then I won't know what to do! :)
We're really, really excited, and even offering a launch special. Go check it out! Share with your friends, and support a dying art - photography! We always appreciate your continued support.
Years pass. Does it get any easier? I continued to say no. But you do stop crying as much. Today is the 5 year anniversary of my mothers death. It's really difficult still, and I assume it always will be, but the other women in my life make it easier. Stacey is the best wife and partner a guy could ever ask for. She's always understanding when it comes to the mom subject, and now that she is a mom - she gets it from a very different perspective. Zoe too, middle name and all, reminds me of my mother daily. I sometimes imagine that my mom used to look like Zoe when she was 11 months old. My mother would LOVE these ladies in my life, and vise versa. I think, no ... know, all 3 of us are better people because of Marcia Blackwell.
Zoe's 11 months today too! It's a crazy week!
Stacey organized a walk this evening for my mother and some friends are on their way over to take a little walk around the neighborhood and grill out.
I feel like I've been posting a lot of stuff in the past 3 days. Tweets, Facebook posts and links, blogs here and there. It's all for a good cause, trust me . . . and I've been holding back!
Well, I just dropped Stacey off at the airport for her 4 day adventure to New York City. Zoe and I are on our own! OH NO!! I'm crying - I'm so sad, I don't know what I'm going to do!? HOW WE WILL EVER SURVIVE?!?! Just jokin'...
So far it hasn't been much different than a week work day ... but maybe that is because I just dropped her off less than 2 hours ago. We will see how it is on day 3. Stay tuned, I'll probably turn to my trusty dusty friend called Blogger since I don't have a the mother head's physical shoulder to cry on. *Sniff*
I need to reinvent my style. Yeah, my clothing style. Tighter jeans, cooler shirts, hats, accesorize. OMG, my wife has changed me. I know this would sound gay coming from any other man, but I'm married and have a kid - I can wear whatever I want! She, my wife, got me a purple hoodie the other day, and I call it my Justin Beiber Hoodie. So WATCH OUT!
Random. I know.
Um ... there's so much to say. So much to tell everyone. Who all reads this anyway? Stacey's parents? I know you guys are there, how's it goin'? My dad - hello dad. (I've been trying to use a thesourus, can you tell?) And Margaret of course, what's up? Blake? My middle brother ... are you there? Todd? My wiser third, are you there? I know Aunt Anne is reading - hello! And Stacey checks this often to see if I've posted pictures she hasn't seen. ;) Hi baby! Aunt Suzanne? Are you still on the Internets? The Garvins, or at least preggo Jessica is reading - how's it goin'? Who else reads this? I got 30 "followers" and I don't know half of you. Say hello!
Then maybe I'll write more! For now - it's time to play w/ my baby. Weekends are all about Z. I do have a photoshoot later, but that's it as far as work goes today. I've been workin' hard all week - now it's time for a little baby attention.
Stacey and I talk about how my #1 job is being Dad. I like to call it being a "family man" because that encompasses everything I do, father, husband, maid, etc. But you get the point, I'm a dad first. I'm a photographer for trade, but my priorities shifted when little Zo-Toes came along.
The best part of being a full time dad is the fact that you get to take naps! Some may considers this lazy, or unprecedented, or think naps are for wimps, but I disagree. (If you have kids, you know exactly what I'm talkin' bout) I learned the napping technique from the master at the whole family job thing ... my mom. And boy did she take naps. Every single day, when I went down, she went down. I assume she did the same thing w/ my brothers too. I mean, I've only got 1 kid, and I want to take naps all the time - she had 3, she must've been 3 times as tired! So I learned it from the master, and I'm glad I did. :) Cuz sometimes, when that little eating, crawling, walking, talking monster passes out, all you wanna do is cuddle up next to her and pass out too, even if it's only for a few minutes.
A year ago tomorrow I was the luckiest man in the world. Today, I still hold that title. I took the girl of my dreams and changed her name. I told her, and the world, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and only her. A year later, a baby later, a whole helluva lot later, we've made it!
Everyone says the first year is the hardest. And I won't deny that, but I think it's also the best. (Even though I think next year will be better, and the year after that, and after that ... ) :) Stacey and I have gotten closer than anyone I've ever connected with. She is my best friend. She is my rock. She makes me the man I am. She makes me a better person. When I'm weak, she is strong and vise versa.
Stacey also has risen to hold the title "Best Mom In The World". And it's a crazy title to be given by a Blackwell. 5 years ago I was shaving my head, taking pictures of flowers, and sending my mom all sorts of goofy stuff to tell her how much I appreciated her on Mother's Day. 5 years ago I had a mom. Today, I have a mother of my child. The circle of life continues to amaze me. A life is extinguished and another life is lit. Without Stacey, without Zoe, my life and heart would have an empty hole that my mother had always filled with love. Stacey has stepped up, in honor of Marcia, to fill that spot and shower me with unconditional love.
My late mother and my wife would've been besties, I'm convinced. They would've been able to sit around a kitchen table, sipping tea and laughing about all the Blackwell boys. I could go on ... but it's best not to dwell in the past.
Here's to the best wife I have ever had. :) I love you Stacey Nicole Blackwell. You are my best friend.
Here's to the best mom that I know! Zoe and I love everything you do for us, and we will always be trying to show you how much we love you.
The hardest part of Stacey going back to work ... is Stacey going back to work. We're a team. When one couldn't handle another dirty diaper, the other would change it. When the other was just too tired to feed ZB, the other would make the bottle and pop it in our little girl's mouth. If we wanted a second alone, we could. But from 7:45 - 5:15 every day it's just me and Zoe. Not that I'm complaining - having this much alone time with our baby girl is amazing. But it's tiring! And we miss our mom.
Stacey is such a positive light in this world. She's always questioning everything, trying to figure out the best way to be a better person. She is an amazing mom who's heart is full of love for Zoe, me and her friends and family. If you're lucky enough to get to know her, you should hang on for dear life because you're in for an exciting ride. Having her around got me spoiled, and now that she's not here during the day it's really quiet and boring.
So Zoe and I will hang out again all day today. We're anxiously awaiting 4:00 pm, because on Friday's mom get's off work early! We're still going to have fun though. Maybe we'll go to the park today, or take a walk. Our good friend Amy Paffrath will be heading over to work on her website a little bit today and yesterday Drew Seeley and I worked on his website. I'm still able to get a little work done, but as Mrs. Blackwell reminds me often, my #1 job is Dad.
It's Saturday night. A year ago on a Saturday night you could find me at a concert, bar, club, friends house, partying and having a crazy good time. Tonight my wife and I are chilling at home, listening to music, having just as good of a time, but with our little 8 week old girl.
Her name's Zoe, I'm sure you know that by now if you're reading my blog, and she's the most amazing thing to happen to me since...oh, I dunno, Stacey? :) They both lighten up my world daily, hourly, even every moment. Stacey's so happy to be a mom, and Zoe is so happy to be alive. She tells me with her smiles, they both do.
I didn't know what it was going to be like to be a dad. I had no clue. I didn't really comprehend that I was GOING to be a dad until the moment she exited Stacey's body and entered the world. Her first cry was my first "oh. uh. i'm - a - dad." And so far it's been a great, exciting, entertaining trip.
We've taken her all over California, although she's never seen the beach...but that will change once it gets a little warmer. Time suddenly goes FASTER. It's harder to get out of the house when we do get out. Not only do I have to get ready, and Stacey, but we have to make sure a baby's ready too. And that means bottles, diapers, burp cloths, blankets, change in outfits (this is hollywood), and much much more. I'm surprised we even eat!
Did I mention that Stacey is an AWESOME mom? She's the best mom I know. Sad to say, but happy to say at the same time.
I wish my mom could've met Zoe. She would love her.
Sometimes we talk about how Zoe is a part of my mom. That my mom probably looked like Zoe when SHE was 8 weeks old. How crazy is that? It's the circle of life I assume, one goes out and another comes in.
Words can't explain, no matter how hard or poetic I get, the feelings of being a dad. When Zoe smiles at me, I feel a joy that is new and exciting. When Stacey (as she always does) does something very motherly, it creates a feeling in my heart that I can't explain really. I'm a family. I have a family. I am in charge of another little human being, who is my daughter, and will ALWAYS be my daughter. That's cool. That's magical. That's the best feeling in the world. My head rests a little higher on my shoulders.
And as messed up as the world is, as sirens blare outside our window right now as I type, I know that Zoe Marcia Blackwell will be fine because she has good parents, a good family, and a good network of friends. She will know love, and peace, and happiness, and she will have everything she needs, always. She will grow up with 2 parents who love her unconditionally and be supported up until our last days.
I ask that YOU create a better world for my daughter as well. Don't do anything that would comprise Zoe. Don't be a jerk in traffic, try to be more environmentally conscience, treat your neighbors better than you have. If everyone does this, maybe ... JUST MAYBE, we can change the world and Zoe won't have to know war, or hate, or discrimination.
