Inspired

I'm sitting in my bunk on our tour bus traveling from Greensboro, North Carolina to Washington D.C. jamming out to a little Listener Supported Dave Matthews. I ran across my brother Blake's blog and inspired by the guy like always I figured it was time to give a little written update on what's been happening in my life.

While every day blurs into the past or next certain moments stand out. Like seeing my family for Christmas and playing ping pong with my brothers and Dad. (probably my highlight of Christmas) Or seeing that one friend while I was back in town and appreciating how good of a friend she is and always will be. Or coming back to the tour and reuniting with my other family and taking note of how much we freakin' missed each other even if we were only seperated for 50 hours.

I'm changing for the better every day. I feel like writing a simple blog doesn't do justice to what I'm experiencing. Even saying "i'm changing for the better every day" is a weird statement.

I love being on tour though. How could I not? Did you expect any less? I love having everything I need always on me. Everything important to me is in my backpack or in my camera bag always feet away. Just the necessaties, nothing else. It's refreshing.

Alright...I've started and stopped so many unread blogs so I'll go ahead and post this one before I decide against it. Y'all have a good one.

Peace,
-marc

On the Road

We get wireless internet on our tour bus. How cool is that? It's 2:57 on this early Tuesday morning and we're somewhere between Houston, Texas and Tampa Florida. After another crazy day doing to tour business it's nice to unwind, watch a few DVDs, upload a few photos and videos, and draw.

I'd write more . . . but it's hard to describe life on the road. People who have done it live in a different world. A comfortable family environment that creates it's own set of rules and sense of time. It's fun. And I like it.

Peace out.
-marc

American flags

This was outside a Starbucks in Seattle, WA. Man I love this town. And while I despise the government I'm still proud as well as also humbled to be an American because these flags mean something different to every single person that lives here. And that's cool to me.
I've adapted well to the life on the road.

Peace,
-marc 

What am I doing?

I'm sitting on a brand new million dollar tour bus traveling 14 hours from Bakersfield, CA to Portland Oregon. A dark sea of nothing . . . or The United States is passing by outside my window. The past couple of days have been completely unreal. We hop cities so often it makes the days confusing and unimportant. Faces are becoming more familiar, the loud screaming at EVERY venue has become like a tiny ringing, and the masses no longer hold any secrets.

Specifics could get overwhelming. I could write about so much. I could tell you about the crazy cab rides in Bakersfield on our day off. or the entire "Show Day" in Stockton the day before that. I could talk about the psychology of different crowds of strangers every single night, or the friendships that are slowly evolving in a church camp like fashion. I could tell you priceless details of moments that happened in Las Vegas (but i can't do that), or the crazy parties that go down in the bus and hotels. But like I said, the specifics would get overwhelming...and I'd probably get sued by somebody so I'll keep the details to a minimum.

Right now I have this feeling I'm calling Creative Freedom. Financial burden does not consume me anymore. In fact, money doesn't exist...which is exactly where I want to be. My conscience is clear, my career is building, my relationships are stable and I have as much time as I want to do whatever I want creatively. Whatever photographic challenge I take is a challenge I give myself. Which is a challenge in itself, to challenge myself, but it's great. Knowing whatever I do, whatever I create is because I did it. No one told me to, no one asked me to, no one's making me - it's all me. And that . . . that freedom, that complete control over my own life and work is so surreal. It's a chance to not be lazy, a chance to not blow it, and a chance to create something really really good. Something powerful, something people will love, and something new.

So now is a real good time. A happy time in my life. I'm surrounded by cool people, I'm traveling the United States in rockstar fashion, and I'm on a creative streak.

For now though, I'm gonna catch some shut eye before a day off in Portland. Good times, good times.

Peace,
-marc

Along for the Ride - Now Online!

Check out: Along for the Ride
Now online!

thursday

Thursday

Clouds

 

Monday?

It doesn't feel like a Monday. It feels like a Wednesday, or Thursday. I worked all weekend, 30 hours or more. And now another full week of the same thing.

But it's my last week. Before the tour. So that's good. Very good.

Here's wishing you all a good week. Thanks for reading and being such an awesome audience.

Peace,
-marc

happy turkey day

 

inspired by paul

often times paul wilkes sparks a little fire under my creative flame and creates a burst of forest fires. tonight as such, as i went to his website and it's done. quickly, without notice. i even talked to you twice this week man! ;) it's all good. the future is much more better than the past.

it's funny how life kinda works. a couple weeks ago i was set on being a "professional head shot and portrait photographer". that was my "title", it's what i said i did for a couple weeks. then. *BAM* i'm documenting a nationwide tour. and inbetween all that madness my Grandma passed away.

which was a beautiful experience in itself. here's the story. she was 85 years old. after my Grandpa passed away 3 years ago it was like half of her died as well. you know, exactly how they say older couples are like one person. so it's been a slow ride down hill since then and she died peacefully in her sleep very comfortable. perfect. and so many good stories, wonderful memories, and great conversations. seeing my family again was more enjoyable than i can ever remember. it was ... exactly how anyone would like to be laid to rest. because my Grandma was a genuienely good woman who loved people and was loved in return. and her cooking...can't mention Grandma without saying that she was by far the best Grandma cook out there.

so now, still working as a photographer's assistant, and Lucas' assistant plus photographer has been a full time job. exhausting, but exciting and interesting. imagine jumping out of a plane over hollywood and landing in a studio with film crews and Pat Sajak running around all over the place. then imagine having full reign to walk around where ever you wanted, doing whatever you want (which for me is my opportunity to take a ton of photos), and meeting and mingling with all these crazy cool dancers, tech crew, directors, assistants and cast members. it's a crazy life style with press and security passes and pda phones and wardrope changes. then imagine writing crazy long sentences about it online after in INSANE day. what day is it?

let's just say, i'm glad i moved.

peace,
-marc

crazy madness

life has taken a switch to the fast lane. jumping on the high school musical tour has been an interesting life changing experience already.

i've decided to document it in the best way i know how - photographs.

more later.
but look for interesting things to start popping up around the website.

peace,
-marc

along for the ride

along for the ride

a documentary experience of a nationwide tour by:
marc blackwell

dec 3rd - jan 28th

40 + cities, 2 months.

disney's high school musical concert tour

special thanks to: lucas grabeel for making this possible.

expect craziness. photos, videos, dvd's, books, etc.

check this out:



Peace,
-marc

St. James, Missouri

St. James, Missouri

the night my grandma died...

the memories it brings back are so strong it's hard to mourn for the most recent.

the phone rang. i was just getting lost in a drawing for the evening. i saw "dad" on the caller id and my heart started racing. i knew something was wrong. the news had come by the tone in his voice and then massive rushes of various emotions combined with confusion of quickly planned travel situations. a night i least expected anything out of the norm (or is this out of the norm?) came a weaping blast of memories; good, bad, sad, dark, horrifyingly vast amounts of different information. a headache appeared out of no where. what do i think? what do i say? how do i act? what is my real emotion right now? i don't know how to feel.

my dad was supposed to come visit me this weekend. to see the beauty and life that is california. but instead we'll be in his hometown at his mother's funeral.

don't worry . . . your comments mean a million to me, and if you feel the need to express your [insert expression here] that's ok. but i'm ok. my grandma lived an extrodinary life. she was a good woman. a good wife, mom, and especially grandma. she LOVED being a grandma. and her cooking showed that for sure. but i'm a blessed person to have had such an amazing person to have been a huge part in my life. i accredit any goodwill that i have on behalf of my upbringing and Gramma Blackwell had a role in it as much as anybody.

So sadness, yes. But happiness too that she's not suffering any more. These, plus many other feelings create a tornado of emotions inside your heard. One chaotic mess of confusion.

So . . . love your family. Did you read that? LOVE YOUR FAMILY. Because . you'll miss 'em when they're gone. I promise.

Goodnight.

blog time

The blogging world is much different from the actual world. See, to you (the reader) I'm still distraught over my second to last post, where as that post was well over a week ago and while the subject matter is still very much so on my mind but a lot hs happened since then. *whew.

See, today was / is good. I don't know if you know Lucas, one of my roommates but he was in this movie that is now doing a nation-wide tour. Well he needed some pictures, some photographs, some art that I specialize in - so began a project. A project that took me to Beverly Hills where I was hanging out in the coolest graphic design firm I've ever seen. This was a company that has worked with so many big name people that name dropping was their second language. It was a laid back, colorful place with a creative genius orb of production that just blew my mind. And to go back today, with Lucas, and play with Ozzy Osbourne's dog, meet the founder of the company, talk shop, business, and chat it up with cool sucessful people was an awesome experience. The drive back wasn't half bad either with the windows rolled down, music turned up, it's a nice 72 degrees here with green grass and palm trees and a deep blue sky back drop to make it complete. This is why I moved to California. This is the sunny chilled exciting type of life I'm stoked to be living.

"Wanna go?"
Yeah.

-marc

Halloween

From Halloween, th...

mom...fragments of jumbled thoughts

i've never done this. i've never been inside of an emotion so much and felt the need to actually write about it on this blog while it's happening. but tonight the tears haven't stopped and the sadness of losing my mother hasn't hit so hard in a long time.

this weekend i told someone else that i lost my mom last year. after a little shock they admitted that they would be "really, really messed up" if they were in my shoes. and since then i haven't stopped thinking about it. i am really messed up. i've tried to covered i up and pull it off like everything's ok . . . but it's not. i mean, and forgive me for being selfish, but i didn't deserve this. my family didn't deserve this. my mom didn't deserve that. it was and is completely unfair.

i feel like a little boy at disney land who lost his mom but never found her again. i feel like my mom wasn't done preparing me to be in this world and i got thrust into it prematurely. i feel lost with no one to point me in the right direction. i don't have a mom to tell me everything's going to be ok. i don't have that unconditional love that only someone who gives birth to you can give you. that was taken from me. and now i'm out here, in one of the craziest cities in the world, all by myself trying to survive. and i don't know how. i have to figure it out by myself without that sound motherly advice that everyone else lives by.

and don't tell me to go find jesus again. that he'll fill the void and make things better. please don't tell me that my mom believed in god and that's reason enough for me to as well. i won't even get into that - it just doesn't work like that.

i don't know what to do. i don't know how to handle these extreme ups and extreme downs. i don't know how to talk to people about it, i don't know who to talk to about it, i don't know if i talk about it too much. i don't know if i'm always going to feel this lost, if i'll always be alone and (should i say it...) depressed? i've tried drinking and smoking and girls and friends and moving and drawing and sleeping all the time but nothing works. or it works for a little while but builds it up to times like these worse.

i want to tell everyone i meet that i lost my mom. but that's not a very good conversation starter. but then at least they would kind of understand why i'm so weird. why sometimes i drift off, why i forget things so often, or why i'm not a very good friend.

it's like this. mom's have that motherly gift of unconditional love towards their children. if there's one person that everyone knows will always love them it's their mom. mothers are the person who will always listen, who will always give you solid advice and who's always right. that's impossible to find. that's only a relationship you can get from your mom. and that relationship is now terminated from my life. if anybody needs a mom i would say it's me. again, i'm being selfish, but it's true. everyone needs their mother and i really needed my mother. i really need my mother. i'm a messed up little child, confused and alone and i know that if she was still alive i could call her right now and she'd make it ok. but i can't. so it's not ok. and i don't know if it will ever be ok again.

i know i'll never find anyone who takes her place. no woman, girlfriend or wife will ever fill this emptiness, and that makes me even more sad. i'm scared to be by myselffor the rest of my life even if i'm with someone.

that's all. i don't know if it makes sense. there's no way i could fully explain what's going on but these are just fragments that i caught in writing.

Friday Nights

Anton and I were to go eat Sushi, maybe drink a little Saki and talk about current events down in Ventura tonight quickly scheduled around 10:00 pm. Around 11 we finally meet up after malfunctioning cell phones and disconnections and take a drive.

I pop in a new CD my co-worker Paul gave me and we take off up the winding hilly Laurel Canyon road and take in the sites and sounds. Stopping at a not so official viewing point we look out on vast dark hills. Vague lights and little houses fill our eyes as far as we can see. It's dark, contrasted intensely against the orange sky. An occasional passing vehicle breaks up the silence of crickets. It's peaceful, we feel like we're in the middle of nature to the fullest. But off in the distance are the cities. Small and blurred together in a massive light energy - lights creeping back up the other side of the valley miles and miles into nothing.

And then we drive some more. Eventually - a few songs and curves later - we're at another viewing point. This one over looking the city. Lights, streets, freeways, buildings, studios and even fireworks entertain us this time. This is closely opposite to what we were just witnessing. Far as your eyes can see are lines of moving lights and reaching buildings scattered in some sort of organized chaos. The infrastructure of this crazy place is mind boggling and breath taking at the same time. Orange, white, red everywhere. As beautiful as the last place, just different.

Hopping back in the car, speeding down the hill towards the 101 we slowly merge back into the crazy world we were just watching up on the hill. We are now those little moving anonymous lights getting lost in the big sea of other lights. We re-entered the universe as members of society after being only observers. We ended up in one of the buildings called Twains where they serve hot fresh coffee and the best damn milkshake you can find in LA. We are now back inside this world. And we talked about it...figured it out... figured something out. Eventually we were back here and I'm now on my couch.

So from embracing and being with mother nature, to observing and respecting the power of man kind, to finally re-entering and interacting within the little man made world. It was a fun and interesting experience.

Kudos to Paul (and Landon) of Coffeesquares.com for their first gallery opening tonight. One of many more to come I'm sure and it speaks a lot for these guys. They worked hard to achieve something very cool and that's inspiring. I'm motivated, as I always am in the awareness of Paul to do something different, work a little harder, and strive to be a better and different artist. And I appreciate that, cuz I need that. I give credit to Paul for any success up to this point because that guy pushes me in ways he probably doesn't even know. Congrats on a successful opening.

I believe that's all. I think a comic book is waiting for me.

Peace,
-marc

Michael's wearing his Cardinal's hat...

...and it's the bottom of the 9th inning, Mets up to bat, 3 - 2, 2 people on 1st and 2nd. So...it's pretty intense in the apartment.

Life in California has been an interesting one lately. Another week flew by with work consuming most of my time. And "how is work?" such a common question - so here's the common answer. It's fine. I'm learning a lot, growing as a person, and advancing as a photographer. Every day I get something new, I become more defined in the business, I figure some technical thing out. It's great. Challenging as well, on many levels but that's like I've said before, a welcomed goodness. That's what I need right now.

I'm still single. Still likin' it. Notice I didn't say "lovin" it. But this Independence, this freedom, this inner dialogue that entertains me on a moment to moment basis is, well, very entertaining. Music has become essential. Surrounded by strangers at a Hollywood bar is comfortable as long as there's some decent music going. Any genre, but no country please, and I'll be lost in the notes, voices, chords, rhythm, story - everything surrounding the sound. Music is key.

My photography . . . ah ... my photography. I feel almost selfish sometimes because I'm so connected t my ... my self right now it's hard to make time to focus on anything else. What can I do to be this now instead of later? How can I hurry up and speed through this, learn that, and become what I want sooner. How does this help me? How can this aid my advancement in the world? But honestly, however you read that I think it's in a good way. I'm not harming anyone else, I'm still kind to everyone and love my friends . . . eh . . . as I'm trying to justify it I realize there is no justifying being selfish. I am working hard to become what I want to be, I am thinking about myself a lot and how I can be this amazing photographer that I dream of being. I know that I'm not who I want to be right now and I feel like I've been given a little amount of time to be selfish and figure things out, and then start giving back in ways I can't even imagine because of who I have become. Does that make sense? Any sense at all? Long sentence, I know.

Every single day I feel like I introduce myself to myself for the first time.

"Hey Marc, I'm Marc."
"Hey Marc, didn't I meet you yesterday?"
"I think so, but I'm completely different now."
"Ah, crazy . . . me too!"

By the way ... the Cards won and are going to the World Series. My night is complete.

peace,
-marc

Friday

It's Friday. Thank Whoever you believe in, right? And after a slow, semi-boring lonely week I'm looking forward to the same for the weekend. I've gotten into comic books lately and they along with drawing give me plenty to keep my mind occupied.

My camera is in Springfield. Oops. But it's fixed, so that's good.

I thought I had a lot to write...something to say maybe - but nope. And I have to travel on the already busy but crazy busy cuz it's Friday Freeways. I'm in Covina California this week and next. Not as nice as Orange County or Encinitas, but it's still CA so it's all good. Plus I stole a bunch of my roommates CDs to the drive isn't that bad either.

Have a good weekend, I'll write more when I have more to say.

Peace,
-marc

careful

 

is it really 6:30 in the morning?

After a full weekend with a old friend in town I'm on my couch listening to NPR's Morning Edition. I realize that it's October 10th making me really late on putting up last month's photos. Apologies but I don't think you'll be disappointed.

I feel however the need to somehow explain this month's collection. After being in LA for over 2 months and sorta drowning in the sea of other photographers out here I realize I have a long, long photography journey ahead of me. It's like I just picked up a camera for the first time. I've been humbled as an artist which is an awesome sensation. I am exposed to so much good photography out here that mine (to me) looks like crap. And that's ok. Because that makes me push to try to take EVERY photo a good photo. No more excuses or laziness. It's time to invest a little, learn a little more, and push a lot more.

So this month is that "experimentation". There's 88 photos this month. That's a lot. Expect more next month. It's the only way I'm going to get better. But it's a fun journey because you'll get to see Cali as I see it.

So, without further ado and yet again avoiding the task of writing what's going on and just posting pictures instead here's September's Photos.

September 2006 - Southern California

Oct 10, 2006 - 88 Photos

Picasa's Web Albums are great and eventually I would like to incorporate them more into my site. For now, check out the pictures there. As always however, they will be in my Galleries and you can check them out here.

Alright, I'm going back to bed.

-marc

Encinitas, CA

Encinitas Day 3

Oct 4, 2006 - 14 Photos

Check out the new Encinitas Galleries in my Picasa Web Galleries.

Peace,
-marc

(i'll write more later Blake, I promise.)

Yellow House

 

back of a plate

 

MonWed Album

From MonWed

Check out the new MonWed album on my new Picasa Online Galleries.

peace,
-marc

Downtown Los Angeles, CA

Today me and my upstairs neighbor Anton took a little trip downtown.
This is where we went and what we saw.
You can see more...
Here.

The link above is something new I'm trying out. Picasa and Google have teamed up and are offering this sweet online photo album. So swing by mine, check it out, and tell me what you think.

Here's the link one more time: http://picasaweb.google.com/blackwell.marc/DowntownLosAngeles

I'm just trying this program out for now but it looks promising so we'll see where it leads. You can see other photo albums on there of my most recent photos in the past 4 days or so.

Thanks!
-marc 

Friday's Pictures

 

emily

 

the 20th

my camera returned from europe. but it upgraded to the sd 700. pretty stinkin' cool.

peace,
-marc

next door

It's Sunday Night

and I'm sitting here in my apartment completely alone and completely silent. I like times like these. Sometimes. In good proportions. Too much couch sitting, web surfing, and TV watching can cause depression. So I try to avoid that.

Today a beautiful actress friend of mine invited me to a park near by to play a little frisbee. It was very beautiful, and fun, and glorified all underneath the warm sun.

Michael got back (from Europe) and just walked through the door. So this what was going to be long blog is going to be cut short. I'll check y'all lata - have a good week.

peace,
-marc

Today

Today I walked outside at work and smiled because: I'm in California.

Today a lady approached me and asked me if I was "the photographer". I answered: "Yeah".

Today I sold 1 image for a very large sum of money and it felt: Great.

Today I saw Mountains.


Today I thought about Mom. I thought about how proud she would be / is because of what I'm doing.

Tonight I may crack open a bottle of wine. Because: I can.

Tomorrow my bank account goes from Red to Black.

Today my boss complimented me and I made a couple of little children smile.

Tomorrow I don't have to wake up 'til: 11:00 a.m.

Today I worked 12 hours.

Yesterday I made out with a girl.

Tonight I will sleep like a baby.

Tomorrow will be just as awesome.

The next day is Saturday. 

ramblin' man

life continues to be well. i hope all is well with everyone who reads this.

peace,
-marc 

Hollywood heights

For the past week my roommates Michael and Lucas have been in Europe leaving me to myself in this crazy mess of a world called Los Angeles. It's been a true test to confirm if this city that obviously doesn't sleep either is really the right place for me. And the test results are coming in every morning (or afternoon) as I wake up. I think the results are showing positive.

I have a beach about 40 minutes away. I love that. A perfect hop skip down the 101 and then that beautiful drive down a winding canyon road to beautiful blue endless bliss. It's breath taking and words can't describe how it feels to stand on the end of our land and gaze out into nothing but water. And getting to do this at least once a week is the perfect receive to happiness.

I also love avocados. California avocados, I love you.

And driving. How cool is it (like last night) to drive on the most popular streets in the world? Yesterday I went over to a friend's house to watch the Texas / Ohio game (what an upset, btw) and on the way back (she lives in Hollywood) I was driving through Hollywood Blvd, Sunset Strip, Melrose Street and Santa Monica Blvd listening to Red Hot Chili Pepper's as loud as I could with the windows rolled down. Perhaps it's cliche', but I had a good time.

It's just fun finding things in this new town. In my new town. If I wanna go to the bank I have to find the bank. If I want to go out to eat I have to discover somewhere on my own . . . and it's always new! If I want to take pictures all I have to do is look around and there's something to take pictures of.

While there's always bad aspects to a city, and there's more bad aspects here than probably anywhere else I think I pride myself on ignoring the negative and focusing on the positive. Com'n, I am a photographer. I block out the ugly and focus to capture the beautiful. And there is SO much beauty here. The people, the stores, the palm trees, the sunsets, the cars, the houses and plant life. It's muy bonita.

So all in all, through the ramblings in each paragraph what I'm trying to say is since my roommates left . . . since they dropped off the face of the planet to leave me to the big bad world outside - I've conquered. I've made friends, found places, gotten a job, eaten pretty well, laughed a lot and just had a really, really good week. I love it out here. I'll be here for a while.

Come visit and you'll get a taste. And you can try our avocados.

Peace,
-marc

Police Pursuit 110 Southbound

After going to Ralphs for a little late night shopping w/ the beautiful neighbor upstairs I flop down and pop on the news (the only channel we have) and there's a high speed chase on the 110. The chopper cam is chasing them, we've got the LAPD on the SkyFox Live 11 news.. This is why I love LA.

Granted I don't wish any ill will towards anyone but it is fun to watch.

Good night.
-marc

untitled #5

August 2006's pictures are in the galleries. Click HERE to go THERE.
Peace,
-marc 

Cali Sunset

Yesterday after a crazy day before that Anton, Lisa and I traveled to Malibu to hike over Point Dume. Good times - and we were just in time for the sunset.

But my roommates are playing drums and bongo - I gotta jump on the piano.

peace,
-marc 

Emily Morris