I suspect that a lot of our friends just don't know how to handle the fact that we have a baby. It almost scares them, I think. Like, if they come over or hang out they'll be forced to change a diaper or something. I know that's not it, but I'm really interested in why this happens.
We're the first in our slowly shrinking circle of friends to have a babe - and it's been a really hard adjustment on us, so I can kind of imagine what's it like for my friends. My assumption is that their assumptions have led them the idea that we can't hang out anymore, for whatever reason. Maybe they think we're tied down every single second of the day, or that we never want to leave the house for safety reasons, or that having a child prevents us from doing anything but children things. So not true!!
Maybe getting married has something to do with it too, as we are the first in our friend group to tie the knot. Love scares some people.
I dunno, maybe our "friends" just suck.
Just because someone has a baby does not mean they've lost the ability to have fun. Or be normal. Or even go out! Stacey and I are still Stacey and Marc. We're still the same fun loving, spontaneous crazy persons we've always been. We just have a mini-me hangin' out all the time. And you think, true friends would be really excited to have another mini version of yourself around, right?
A lot of our friends have been great, awesome, and more than we could ever ask for. The love that they show towards Zoe and us is astounding and beautiful. It's fun to watch our friends interact with our daughter, and they love watching her grow up! Some have offered to babysit at the drop of a hat, others will invite us to "family friendly" events, and more than most remind us on a daily basis that they are here for us.
I guess, like so often in life I'm learning, you weed out certain people at certain times. And it's sad, because it's ignorance that leads to these specific falling outs. But it's also a good thing. Survival of the fittest...friend edition.
I barely get to see my wife these days ... a few hours after work and on the weekends. I hardly have time for the ones I love. I'm not going to waste time on those who aren't cool with the FACT that my WIFE and I have a BABY.
Peace,
-marc
p.s. I know friendship is a two way street. There is a natural progression to these kind of closures on relationships. I'm busy - they're busy - we're all busy. But the true friends have stuck around.
good post! This is so true!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I LOVE this picture! So stinkin cute!
Second, people are funny. It's funny how we find out who our true friends and family are. I've learned that people change and as season's change people will come and go. (sounds SO corny! ha!) BUT... it's true. Oh, I could keep rambling... but I think you know what I'm saying!
I like the green too.. nice change!
Love you guys! - Suz
Well said Marc! Friends come and go. Circle of life. You are amazing, honest and inspiring. And next time I come over, I will NOT change Zoe's diaper, not even for a website discount ;) JUST KIDDING I love that little person so much!
ReplyDeleteComing from one of the few remaining singles in my group of friends, let me throw my two cents in.
ReplyDeleteA lot of the couples seem to pull away and not know how to interact with single people anymore. And whenever I do hang out with some (not all) married girls, all they ever want to talk about is being married. So...I think some of it is just about being in a different station of life.
The other part, well, I hesitate to call up my married friends, especially those with kiddos, because I assume they're way too busy doing family stuff, especially when they have a new baby. I don't want to take time away from you and your little one!
All that to say, tell us! Tell us that you still want to hang out, that you aren't chained to the house all day every day. And let them us weed ourselves out if we aren't cool enough to stick around. :)