yup, it's me.

i know i have an eclectic readership on this blog ranging from relatives to crazy fan girls to clients and friends. it's interesting trying to post to such a wide variety of an audience.

my immediate family loves me. my dad and my brothers love me. sometimes they are concerned about me, sometimes i disappoint them but they always have and always will love me. since the days when my mom made our lunch every single day in our primary schooling days to when my mom passed away and my dad got remarried and his wife showed a true love as well. i know that no matter what happens in this world, in california or anywhere that i have family in the midwestern part of the united states. family that will love me even if everything goes down the tube.

but right now i feel their support and love and that's why i'm chasing my dreams. my dream is to be a real artist. i've always, always loved some form of art in some way. when i was in grade school i would draw in my spelling papers and get in trouble for doodling too much. i finished tests way too fast so i could turn it over and have a blank page to draw on. my favorite class was art class with mrs. fletcher in grade school. i see great influential artists who change the world in positive ways and i aspire to do that too. i aspire to be great, to be a house-hold name when it comes to photography. i want to be an ansel adams. to be an honest good person who's also very talented in his craft.

yes i am a college drop-out. yes i have "lost my faith". but i do have purpose. sometimes it's cloudy, sometimes it gets distracted by the typical day to day 20 something distractions. i'm a 20 something. i can't separate love from lust. (thanks jamie cullum) i don't know if a degree is more important than a portfolio or if friends are worth more than money. i have a solid background with good upbringing ... i'm okay, okay? just because sometimes i spill my beans in an honest way on my blog does not mean i've lost my way. my dad came out to visit me in california and living was easy. it's wasn't like in college where i was hiding things.

i am an artist - with a deep passion for the word. the word means so much in itself that the only way to be cool with it is to have an open mind. i hope that i can help open your mind in some way with my art.

that's all i got.

peace out y'all.
-marc

understanding

stop trying to understand people ... make them understand you.
perhaps what you have to say is right.

i can be sad if i want to. at the blink of an eye i could be really sad. and genuinely so. but then i can turn around and be happy just as quickly. and be truly happy. sometimes it's hard to switch those on and off.

sometimes he just stands, wasting minutes until something happens. what's he waiting for? monetary obstacles are minimal compared to mental. but what the hell is it?

not that i always want to be happy. but what to call times like right now?

"once you stop painting (the autonomy of art) and allow other people to look at your art it's no longer yours." so true.

advice. from all angles but no one listens, not even me. alone.

alone.

things happening around, people coming and going. where are you going?

i expect no one to understand

i wake up and decide what i want to do. that's usually a shower and some grub. sometimes no grub. then i check my e-mail. that's what i do. sometimes i'll draw, perhaps i'll play some tennis, or go outside ... i dunno. then i check my e-mail. i get so excited sometimes when amazon sends me electronic coupons and new book recommendations. it's not sad...it's nothing to judge. it's just life right now. simple. basic. music makes minutes pass quicker. check my e-mail. still nothin'. friends mean more than money. always thinking ... sometimes writing. always growing, sometimes slower than others. i wake up and have nothing to do. what and how i fill my days is up to me. i don't know how i've gotten into this situation or how to get out. or if i want to get out. or if i should just ride the ride.
talking. negativity. false negativity, made up hatefulness and assumed distrust. it's weird. but always ok by the time i fall asleep.
then i wake up.
sometimes i write a blog.
then i check my e-mail.

it's weird when your life is your work. or your work is your life. when there's no separation between personal growth and business growth ... it's gets strange. as an artist i understand that the more suffering and confusion i go through the better my art will be but it's hard to comprehend that when you're sitting right in the middle of crap.

Summer Dump

Car Wash, originally uploaded by marcblackwell.

after some demand i've decided to give flickr another whirl. check it out!

peace,
-marc

Church on Sunday

This morning my father and I went to church.
Some white bearded man tried to convince me that God really does exists.

I don't think it worked.

Peace,
-marc

the internet is ok.

"aren't you?"

Life is good. My dad has come to visit and we are havin' a good ole' California time.

Peace,
-marc

Caracas, Venezuela

Man, this trip just keeps getting better. Yesterday we jumped on a charter plane to fly to Caracas, Venezuela and not only was the view amazing but we also got to chill in the cockpit for a little bit. Now, being in this crazy town about to go to the venue to do another crazy show and all I wanna do is dance.

Traveling is awesome, and like I said before I will be doing more of it in the future. You learn so much about yourself, about others, about the world and everything. Everyday you're a new person. This world is bigger than Missouri, Oklahoma, California, the United States ... there are a lot of people on this planet.

More later,
Peace,
-marc