Sittin' in Oklahoma with my baby girl...

It was around Christmas time last year that we made Zoe. Now, I'm sitting in my relatives' home in Oklahoma with my very own baby girl next to my side. I'm married and a dad. A lot changes in a year. Stacey just went out with one of her old best girlfriends and Zoe and I? We're just chilling next to each other. What better time to blog? Oh wait ... I think Zoe might need a diaper change.

Actually I wanted to change the design of the blog, then I figured I should post too. Why not, right? It's always around this time of the year when I think "Hmmm...I should blog more."

Hold on ... diaper change time.

OK ... man I thought of a lot to write about in that couple of minutes. Like, how lucky I am to have a loving wife who loves me and our little girl more than the world. I couldn't have asked for a better woman to be in my life for the rest of my life. She's perfect. Well, except for her tardiness, but I can overlook that. :) I see couples having problems and divorce rates going through the rough, an unhappiness running rampage between parents - but not with us. We're a team, and a damn good one at that.

Hold on ... time to feed the baby!

OK ... now my brain is getting too full for this post. I should blog professionally. I did back in college. Back in Oklahoma, only a few blocks from here I got $5.15 for every blog post I wrote. I could be a part of the mom and dad blogging community. Diaper companies and toy makers, feel free to send me samples of ANYTHING and I'll write about it. Send me samples and $$ and I'll write positively about it. :)

Next year will be crazy. After our trip to Oklahoma Stacey goes back to work at Advertise.com. I will be a full-time dad. That is my job. Photography is taking a backseat, as hard as that is to type, it's important for me to focus on the most important thing right now, and that's little Zoe. I never thought I would be part of the statistic of growing stay at home dads, but here I am, and happy to do so. Life will be a trip, like it always has been, but it will be fun. I'll still shoot on the weekends or after 5, and with RLP growing and becoming more successful I'll be able to create websites from home while watching Zoe! But I might stay in my sweats for weeks at a time... ;)

Having a child has been crazy. I know people do it all the time, but I've never done it before. My favorite part? When she smiles at me ... like she is now. It makes all the financial hardship, late nights, and difficult situations worth it. I've lost friends over Zoe, missed out on "opportunities" for work, and haven't gone to see a movie in 13 weeks - but I wouldn't change a single moment.

So here's to 2010. I want to show my baby girl that even though the world is way messed up, life is alright if you surround yourself with people who love you and who you love. Love is all you need!

Much love,
-marc

Zoe is 8 weeks old...What can you do?

It's Saturday night. A year ago on a Saturday night you could find me at a concert, bar, club, friends house, partying and having a crazy good time. Tonight my wife and I are chilling at home, listening to music, having just as good of a time, but with our little 8 week old girl.

Her name's Zoe, I'm sure you know that by now if you're reading my blog, and she's the most amazing thing to happen to me since...oh, I dunno, Stacey? :) They both lighten up my world daily, hourly, even every moment. Stacey's so happy to be a mom, and Zoe is so happy to be alive. She tells me with her smiles, they both do.

I didn't know what it was going to be like to be a dad. I had no clue. I didn't really comprehend that I was GOING to be a dad until the moment she exited Stacey's body and entered the world. Her first cry was my first "oh. uh. i'm - a - dad." And so far it's been a great, exciting, entertaining trip.

We've taken her all over California, although she's never seen the beach...but that will change once it gets a little warmer. Time suddenly goes FASTER. It's harder to get out of the house when we do get out. Not only do I have to get ready, and Stacey, but we have to make sure a baby's ready too. And that means bottles, diapers, burp cloths, blankets, change in outfits (this is hollywood), and much much more. I'm surprised we even eat!

Did I mention that Stacey is an AWESOME mom? She's the best mom I know. Sad to say, but happy to say at the same time.

I wish my mom could've met Zoe. She would love her.

Sometimes we talk about how Zoe is a part of my mom. That my mom probably looked like Zoe when SHE was 8 weeks old. How crazy is that? It's the circle of life I assume, one goes out and another comes in.

Words can't explain, no matter how hard or poetic I get, the feelings of being a dad. When Zoe smiles at me, I feel a joy that is new and exciting. When Stacey (as she always does) does something very motherly, it creates a feeling in my heart that I can't explain really. I'm a family. I have a family. I am in charge of another little human being, who is my daughter, and will ALWAYS be my daughter. That's cool. That's magical. That's the best feeling in the world. My head rests a little higher on my shoulders.

And as messed up as the world is, as sirens blare outside our window right now as I type, I know that Zoe Marcia Blackwell will be fine because she has good parents, a good family, and a good network of friends. She will know love, and peace, and happiness, and she will have everything she needs, always. She will grow up with 2 parents who love her unconditionally and be supported up until our last days.

I ask that YOU create a better world for my daughter as well. Don't do anything that would comprise Zoe. Don't be a jerk in traffic, try to be more environmentally conscience, treat your neighbors better than you have. If everyone does this, maybe ... JUST MAYBE, we can change the world and Zoe won't have to know war, or hate, or discrimination.

That's all.

Zoe Marica Blackwell

My mom died 4 years ago today.

When people write they say you should always have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Usually when I write I don't have an end in mind ... much like today. Today marks the 4 year "anniversary" of my mother's death. She died August 25th, 2005 of ovarian cancer and none of us saw it coming.

It's not any easier today than it was 4 years ago.

I thought I could sit down and write a blog post without crying ... but I didn't even make it to the third paragraph. I want to write something...something beautiful about my mom. I want to remember her in a way that would make her proud. I want people to appreciate their moms and love being alive, because some people aren't so lucky.

My mom was a perfect lady. Granted, probably not, but through my eyes, she was. She was a good Christian woman who loved her family more than herself. She walked every day ... she even completed a marathon! She was healthy, happy, and full of life. She worked hard, played hard and lived hard. Everyone loved her, from the ladies at church to the neighbors down the street. She was amazing and taught our entire family how to love one another. There was no reason she should have been taken from this world so early. NO reason. But she was.

I wish she was here to see the birth of our child. I wish she could've met Stacey and Blake's new wife, Kacee. She wanted more than anything for us to find good woman to marry and she'd be tickled pink that all of her sons are now married. And the fact that she'd be a grandma soon would've thrilled her to no end. She would've loved being a Grandma.

But like we all have learned in my family the past 4 years, there are a lot of things that just won't ever happen. She wasn't at our weddings, she won't see the birth of our kids, she won't be at Christmas anymore, and we'll never get to eat her meatloaf ever again.

As one life exits the world, another comes into it. And I'm learning that more and more every day. While the world isn't fair - it is at the same time. People have to go to make room for more people. But who the world chooses to take is completely and totally random.

I keep writing, like if it's going to make sense if I do ... but it won't drag it out anymore than it has to. It never will make sense and my mom will never come back.

Reminder

I'm 100 yards from the beach. Taking calls, scheduling photoshoots, working on websites ... chillin'. This is a reminder that I love my job and my life. :)

Peace,
-marc

Overwhelmed in a good way

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. In a good way.

I want to take over the world. I want to take pictures of people on the street. I want to re-do my webpage, re-do Lucas' webpage, Emily's, Amy's, Stacey's, Group III Management's, Diem's and 14341's. I want to create a photo project/campaign to enhance cancer awareness. I want to make a book of just people photos. I want to illustrate another Children's book like Tear Drop Key. I want to Facebook, and Twitter and Blog all at the same time. I want to clean the apartment again, wash the dishes, do more laundry and paint the walls. I want to paint. I want to draw. I want to go see movies, try different resturaunts and drink coffee all over LA. I want to drive ... far. I want to see my baby girl! I want to take Stacey on a proper honeymoon, and show her the world. I want to be a house-hold photography name. I want to create music. I wanna be on stage and sing and dance. I want to play the guitar real loud . I want to write these thank you notes, I wanna finish up Zoe's room. I want to do a clean sweep on my laptop, revamp my myspace page and put new videos on youtube. I want to make a movie. I want to direct a movie. I want to be IN a movie. I want to buy an iMac. I want to work. I want to shower, and float down a river. I want to be closer to my dad. I want to have people over and cook out. I want to swim and run and learn to fly a plane. I want to garden and riot and buy a big american flag. I want to back up, look forward, see straight. I want to sleep, talk, and light fires. I want to go to a state I've never been and see things I've never saw. I want to be afraid, be courages, take risks and shoot guns. I want to be a phsyciatrist, be on a talk show, meet Jay Leno.

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.

There just aint enough time in the day to do everything I want! :)

Peace,
-marc

Buy an original painting on Etsy!

Marc's Etsy Store!

Check out the link above to buy some of my original artwork!

Thanks, Peace,
-marc