Sometimes I don't know if I made the right decision. Or if I've even made a decision at all. Do I really want to not smoke for the rest of my life? I mean - I want to smoke. I want to smoke all the time, so much so that it consumes my thoughts... which I guess is the problem.
But damnit - I wish I could control it. I wish I could still smoke but is it took late to turn back now? 3 meetings in . . . a few people know . . . but is it worth it?
I just found a meeting for tonight. 7:30. A MA meeting this time (I hope).
Will I be able to drink again? Will I want to?
Gotta stop smoking cigs.
Gotta have someone to talk to. Even my wife doesn't understand - but how can she? She's not in my shoes.
Today I will not use. Today I will not use. Today I will not get high.
I have to accomplish the first step and admit that I am powerless over my addiction, and that my life had become unmanageable.
But damnit - I wish I could control it. I wish I could still smoke but is it took late to turn back now? 3 meetings in . . . a few people know . . . but is it worth it?
I just found a meeting for tonight. 7:30. A MA meeting this time (I hope).
Will I be able to drink again? Will I want to?
Gotta stop smoking cigs.
Gotta have someone to talk to. Even my wife doesn't understand - but how can she? She's not in my shoes.
Today I will not use. Today I will not use. Today I will not get high.
I have to accomplish the first step and admit that I am powerless over my addiction, and that my life had become unmanageable.
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