Death

My eyes are blurry.  Tears gently fall down my face.  I don't know how long this crying period will last.  They usually don't last long.  Just long enough for my emotions to surface and then life sweeps me away again.

Death is a funny thing.  And you think we would be more accustomed to it, being that it happens alllll the time.  But maybe it's just as strong as birth, in the opposite sense, that we'll never be used to it. 

The joy you feel, the happiness you experience, and the love that floods your soul when you experience the birth of a loved one is stronger than anything.  Stronger than the sadness, hopelessness and despair when a loved one passes away.  But both feelings are probably the most intense emotions I've experienced.

A friend died a few days ago.  We don't know how yet, or, I don't at least.  And people are still writing on his Facebook page.  "We'll miss you",  "...Was loved and will be missed", someone even posted their favorite memories.  I get it - but I don't get it.  Maybe I like to grieve in silence, alone. 

Damnit .... my eyes are filling up again.  Why does this happen?  I ask not in a "why, I don't understand" but in a "why does it hurt so bad" kinda way.  I get it, people have to die in order for more people to be born.  But does it hafta be so dramatic?

I don't really know what else to say.  The circle of life continues to shake me around like a little rag doll and not explain itself.  Maybe one day I'll figure everything out.  And then I'll be dead. 

Peace,
-marc