Quarter Life Crisis

Doesn't every 26 y/o who has a blog at some point create new post with the title "Quarter Life Crisis"?  While I can't afford to go out and buy a new ferrari (cuz we had to purchase a new fridge ... that took all my car money away!) I can tell the world what the hell is going on inside my crazy brain.

I want it all.  I want to do it all, rather.  And I want it all too.  I want to shoot music videos.  I want to create an album ... yeah, like a music album!  I want to be a professional painter.  I want to move to Australia.  I want to own the Canon 5D Mark II with dozens of lenses of my choice (that will happen one day soon).  I want an iMac, a new external and internal hard-drive.  How can a person focus?  How can an ARTIST focus?

I've heard "pick one!", but why?  Why do I have to be just a headshot photographer?  How boring is that?  I wanna shoot weddings, and newborns, and sexy models too!  I want to paint - and I want to show those paintings to the world!  One day I dream of my artwork being showcased in the Getty Museum just down the road...that's not bad, right?  Or is it bad for business?  Am I confusing my market?  Who IS my market?

I mean, we're good.  Zoe's full, and content, with a crib she's happily sleeping in under a roof.  We have a fridge with food in it, and I'm typing on a pretty sick computer.  We've got a nice car that gets us to Target where we can always buy more toilet paper ... so why do I worry?  Honestly, my wife brings in most of the money for the time being, but honestly, I bring in a significant amount too.  So ... so what?

Ha... I don't even know what I'm getting at.  I just finished a book about Zen and just being.  And I am ... just being.  I do what I want, when I want.  I even live streamed a painting the other day.  Does that mean that I'm going to put down my camera and only paint for financial gain?  No.  Even though I've thought about it.

I've cut out several vices in my life that have plagued my creativity and productivity and I think that's where all this extra energy and ideas are coming from.

I don't care if I tweet too much, or if I Facebook too much.  Even though, sometimes I wonder if I do.  But I can't worry about if I'm doing something wrong all the time - that's a waste of time!  I opened up a tumblr account the other day.  Why?  I dunno - I wanted a place to post my iPhone pics ... even though I'm a part of The Best Camera project and Twitpic.  I'm not even confused! ... I'm just presented with so many awesome options that I want them all!

And like I said, I'm only 26.  Thankfully.  I've got A LOT to do and hopefully (knock on wood) I've got a lot of time to do it.

I'm going to start calling myself a visual artist.  I photograph.  I paint.  I draw.  I make websites and flash designs.

What now?

Peace,
-marc