Uncertainty

This blog is for me. It's really something I only come to in random times. Most of the time when my mind is just overflowing this is one more way of expressing things and then figuring them out.
At a time when there's a lot of certainty in my life there's also a lot of uncertainty. I don't know if this is good or bad. Let's say I'm uncertain if uncertainty is good or bad. Sometimes I think I just put things away and leave them in the uncertain pile because "there will always be uncertainties ... this must be one". I'm ok with the unknown. Without having things exactly figured out. I'm unclear and almost apathetic about a lot of reasons for a lot of things that have happened in my life. But I don't think that's a bad thing. It's not that I don't think about them, that I don't try to draw some clear conclusion about certain subjects. I guess some things are more important to me and those things I seem very secure and certain about. But I never claim to have anything figured out because anything can happen. Life can change in a night and you never saw it coming.
Life is good. Life will be good compared to what I've gone through. Not to say it won't be difficult, not to say I won't want what I don't have when I have it. I even know that yeah ... it is possible for life to get worse than it was. Not to even say I know what I want or will ever know what I want. And I'm ok with that, at least for now. As long as I'm being productive, thinking and creating I'll be happy. And that's what I am doing so I am happy.
I just think too much sometimes. And then I write it down. And it's only a peek into what's going on inside my head. You can't judge what I write and take away from a few paragraphs an accurate perception of me. It's like reading one page in a novel.

Peace,
-marc